The basic laws of attraction for men who are not the best looking in the room is to "fake it 'till you make it". If you (as a guy) feels like trying to chat to a female is going to be a waste of time because you are not attractive enough, then guess what? You will come across as a loser and yes, it will be a waste of time. Chicks can sense when a guy has no self-confidence so by behaving in a confident manner (essentially pretending to be on your game) you can fool her long enough for her to get to know you a bit and you can learn to relax around females.
Okay so first things first. Kick that loser out of your head and just relax. It's just a woman after all. Stand up straight and be friendly and smile. Don't sweat it if she brushes you off, seriously. It's all an experiment anyway, right? So see how far into a conversation you can get with a woman before she loses interest, IF she loses interest. This is all about the learning curve, so it doesn't matter if the first woman you talk to blows you off. Just try again.
Why do you automatically presume that she is better than you, or even a nice person at all? Go over there and just be curious to find out more about the person you have in front of you. Don't base your self-esteem on the reaction women have to you in clubs, they don't know you at all! When an interaction happens, it could be that you will not get the response you were hoping for, but maybe you have learned something new about yourself, about women or about male-female interaction on the whole.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Females are emotional beings and not very analytical so trying to have a technical conversation with her is going to earn you long blank stares. The aim is to connect emotionally with her. Yes I know, men and emotion are naturally compatible, especially in a social environment, but if you are attempting to connect with her at all, then this is the path you must choose. Sounds very "Star Wars", but go with what works when it comes to women and trying to get to know them. The aim here is to score her digits, not her scorn.
Having gotten her phone number is only the first step in the long run. Learning when to use her number and how, is the next step. Texting her from time to time is alright, but texting her daily several times a day may come across as stalker behavior...and she may slap you with a restraining order. So, learn more about her first by dating her a couple times and asking in depth questions about her to learn more about her. This way when you get the next level, texting her "naughty" texts won't backfire on you. I may land you in her bed.
Another thing that women shy away from is neediness. If you appear needy you will be the opposite of the alpha male she is looking for. You are "allowed" to show vulnerability but she wants to see that you already have established control over your weaker areas. What women don't want is a puppy dog. Puppy dogs end up in the friend zone as they are incredibly sweet but just don't get your heart racing!
The last thing you want to do is flood her phone with texts every few minutes with inane stuff. It's going to piss her off. At the same time, don't answer every single one of her texts either. It gives the impression of being easily controlled. That's not a good place to be in as a man, and women see that as being weak. She doesn't want a puppet who is going to dance to her tune with every pull on the string, she wants someone she can respect. Be available; just don't be TOO available, if that makes any sense.
Another thing you certainly want to avoid is being known as the clown. Don't try and be cute and funny by sending her a bunch of cute and/or funny texts, unless they really ARE cute/funny, and appropriate. This will depend on where you are in the relationship.
In a nutshell, be yourself but keep it low key to begin with. Prove you have self confidence by following the step by step guidelines for texting women we have set out. By keeping to the "rules" you should soon have more numbers and dates than you will know what to do with.
Okay so first things first. Kick that loser out of your head and just relax. It's just a woman after all. Stand up straight and be friendly and smile. Don't sweat it if she brushes you off, seriously. It's all an experiment anyway, right? So see how far into a conversation you can get with a woman before she loses interest, IF she loses interest. This is all about the learning curve, so it doesn't matter if the first woman you talk to blows you off. Just try again.
Why do you automatically presume that she is better than you, or even a nice person at all? Go over there and just be curious to find out more about the person you have in front of you. Don't base your self-esteem on the reaction women have to you in clubs, they don't know you at all! When an interaction happens, it could be that you will not get the response you were hoping for, but maybe you have learned something new about yourself, about women or about male-female interaction on the whole.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Females are emotional beings and not very analytical so trying to have a technical conversation with her is going to earn you long blank stares. The aim is to connect emotionally with her. Yes I know, men and emotion are naturally compatible, especially in a social environment, but if you are attempting to connect with her at all, then this is the path you must choose. Sounds very "Star Wars", but go with what works when it comes to women and trying to get to know them. The aim here is to score her digits, not her scorn.
Having gotten her phone number is only the first step in the long run. Learning when to use her number and how, is the next step. Texting her from time to time is alright, but texting her daily several times a day may come across as stalker behavior...and she may slap you with a restraining order. So, learn more about her first by dating her a couple times and asking in depth questions about her to learn more about her. This way when you get the next level, texting her "naughty" texts won't backfire on you. I may land you in her bed.
Another thing that women shy away from is neediness. If you appear needy you will be the opposite of the alpha male she is looking for. You are "allowed" to show vulnerability but she wants to see that you already have established control over your weaker areas. What women don't want is a puppy dog. Puppy dogs end up in the friend zone as they are incredibly sweet but just don't get your heart racing!
The last thing you want to do is flood her phone with texts every few minutes with inane stuff. It's going to piss her off. At the same time, don't answer every single one of her texts either. It gives the impression of being easily controlled. That's not a good place to be in as a man, and women see that as being weak. She doesn't want a puppet who is going to dance to her tune with every pull on the string, she wants someone she can respect. Be available; just don't be TOO available, if that makes any sense.
Another thing you certainly want to avoid is being known as the clown. Don't try and be cute and funny by sending her a bunch of cute and/or funny texts, unless they really ARE cute/funny, and appropriate. This will depend on where you are in the relationship.
In a nutshell, be yourself but keep it low key to begin with. Prove you have self confidence by following the step by step guidelines for texting women we have set out. By keeping to the "rules" you should soon have more numbers and dates than you will know what to do with.
About the Author:
We're a totally 3rd party and independent professional review online site that has actually investigated the benefits and drawbacks of texting for dating. For our review on the Magnetic Messaging book go to our site; http://magneticmessagingreviewer.com
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