It's quite normal for you to have an intense desire to get back together with your wife or ex-girlfriend after she broke up with you. She was your best friend and the person that you cared about the most in this world. The rejection from having someone that close to you can be overwhelming and difficult to deal with emotionally. It has taken a toll on your male ego, your self-confidence and you are left with a giant hole in your life. Wanting to get her back in your life again as soon as possible is probably on your mind throughout most of your day. You should realize though that your attitude and how you deal with your ex is more important than any plan that you might hatch to get her back.
Most guys try all the tried and true methods that they are told will help them to convince their girlfriend to come back. You have probably already thought of trying to talk things through or promising that things will be different in order to change her heart. Of course, in case you didn't already know, these methods aren't going to get you anywhere. Unless your wife or girlfriend has a desire to work things out, these methods will only make her avoid your further. If you are guilty of trying to talk to her about getting back together or if you made some emotional plea for her to come back to you because you love her then you have done more damage than good. The only way that you are going to undo this damage is by giving her a little space and time. You should avoid trying to make contact with her and wait for her to connect with you again. It will happen but it's going to take a while. You can contact her again at some point if you want to but only once you have your life straightened out and you are feeling strong emotionally again.
Your primary focus now is to change how your ex-girlfriend or potential future ex-wife thinks about you. This is going to require you to change your general attitude towards her and women overall. What will this attitude be like? Your attitude should be one where you are unwilling to tolerate being talked down to or treated in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your ex does make you feel uncomfortable or upset, you need to be willing ahead of time to walk away both from the relationship as well as the conversation. Always keep this in mind and remind yourself of this new attitude and it will be felt by your ex-girlfriend if not seen by her the next time she starts treating you poorly.
You might worry that your ex will be offended or that she will laugh at you but the opposite is true. The moment you are willing to walk away, she loses the power in the relationship. Once you stop tolerating bad behavior from a woman, you take the power back. Try it sometime. The next time any woman treats you poorly, tell her that you don't have to put up with this since she isn't your girlfriend and physically walk away. You might be surprised by how quickly things will change. You will have passed her test and she will have a new found respect for you.
If you have been upset since your breakup there might be a chance that your ex has seen you cry. She might know that you're depressed about the breakup. In the future, you're not going to let your ex know anything about your life other than the fact that you are happy, loving life and ready to move on without her, if necessary. Without a word, you are rebuilding your life. You are happy and you have things that you want to do with your life as well as the strength to achieve these goals. Instead of holding onto that depressed personality and being sad about your breakup, you are happy with life and you're living life to the best of your ability.
The temptation might be there still to want your ex to think that you're sad about your breakup. You might think that she will expect you to be sitting at home alone in the dark missing her and wanting her to come back to you. Look, you will gain nothing by portraying this side of you to your girlfriend. She will only lose respect for you and view you as sad and pathetic. Pain does not equal love. If she wonders if you miss her then she should ask you. This is your life we're talking about and every day that you spend being upset and lonely is a wasted day. Don't ever let her see you cry or upset about the breakup and never tell her that you love her. You can tell her that you love her about a minute or two after she confesses that she still loves you. Make her sweat a little bit.
This is your time to really plan out your life and begin to dream. You can still secretly include her in your dreams or even make plans based upon what the two of you used to dream but, for now, this is your life we're talking about. Write down some of the goals that you have for yourself. If you could live life on your terms, what would it look like. Don't hold anything back. Shoot for the stars. Write down exactly what you would do, who you would be doing it with and include every feeling, emotion and nuance that you can think of. Take this breakup as being a wake-up call. Losing your girlfriend or wife can give you the motivation to create a life that anyone in their right mind would be happy to be a part of and it's your life.
Change your attitude and you can change your life. Change your attitude and you will begin to see changes in your ex. Push aside the fear of what your ex is going to think or do and start living your life for yourself. Make yourself happy and your ex will be drawn to you in a way that they may have never been attracted to you before. You are a man on a mission and it's up to you who enjoys this journey with you. Your ex should consider herself lucky that you still love her. She will understand one day soon. She will see the real you and want to come back to you. It could happen at any time so be prepared for her to come back when you least expect it.
Most guys try all the tried and true methods that they are told will help them to convince their girlfriend to come back. You have probably already thought of trying to talk things through or promising that things will be different in order to change her heart. Of course, in case you didn't already know, these methods aren't going to get you anywhere. Unless your wife or girlfriend has a desire to work things out, these methods will only make her avoid your further. If you are guilty of trying to talk to her about getting back together or if you made some emotional plea for her to come back to you because you love her then you have done more damage than good. The only way that you are going to undo this damage is by giving her a little space and time. You should avoid trying to make contact with her and wait for her to connect with you again. It will happen but it's going to take a while. You can contact her again at some point if you want to but only once you have your life straightened out and you are feeling strong emotionally again.
Your primary focus now is to change how your ex-girlfriend or potential future ex-wife thinks about you. This is going to require you to change your general attitude towards her and women overall. What will this attitude be like? Your attitude should be one where you are unwilling to tolerate being talked down to or treated in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your ex does make you feel uncomfortable or upset, you need to be willing ahead of time to walk away both from the relationship as well as the conversation. Always keep this in mind and remind yourself of this new attitude and it will be felt by your ex-girlfriend if not seen by her the next time she starts treating you poorly.
You might worry that your ex will be offended or that she will laugh at you but the opposite is true. The moment you are willing to walk away, she loses the power in the relationship. Once you stop tolerating bad behavior from a woman, you take the power back. Try it sometime. The next time any woman treats you poorly, tell her that you don't have to put up with this since she isn't your girlfriend and physically walk away. You might be surprised by how quickly things will change. You will have passed her test and she will have a new found respect for you.
If you have been upset since your breakup there might be a chance that your ex has seen you cry. She might know that you're depressed about the breakup. In the future, you're not going to let your ex know anything about your life other than the fact that you are happy, loving life and ready to move on without her, if necessary. Without a word, you are rebuilding your life. You are happy and you have things that you want to do with your life as well as the strength to achieve these goals. Instead of holding onto that depressed personality and being sad about your breakup, you are happy with life and you're living life to the best of your ability.
The temptation might be there still to want your ex to think that you're sad about your breakup. You might think that she will expect you to be sitting at home alone in the dark missing her and wanting her to come back to you. Look, you will gain nothing by portraying this side of you to your girlfriend. She will only lose respect for you and view you as sad and pathetic. Pain does not equal love. If she wonders if you miss her then she should ask you. This is your life we're talking about and every day that you spend being upset and lonely is a wasted day. Don't ever let her see you cry or upset about the breakup and never tell her that you love her. You can tell her that you love her about a minute or two after she confesses that she still loves you. Make her sweat a little bit.
This is your time to really plan out your life and begin to dream. You can still secretly include her in your dreams or even make plans based upon what the two of you used to dream but, for now, this is your life we're talking about. Write down some of the goals that you have for yourself. If you could live life on your terms, what would it look like. Don't hold anything back. Shoot for the stars. Write down exactly what you would do, who you would be doing it with and include every feeling, emotion and nuance that you can think of. Take this breakup as being a wake-up call. Losing your girlfriend or wife can give you the motivation to create a life that anyone in their right mind would be happy to be a part of and it's your life.
Change your attitude and you can change your life. Change your attitude and you will begin to see changes in your ex. Push aside the fear of what your ex is going to think or do and start living your life for yourself. Make yourself happy and your ex will be drawn to you in a way that they may have never been attracted to you before. You are a man on a mission and it's up to you who enjoys this journey with you. Your ex should consider herself lucky that you still love her. She will understand one day soon. She will see the real you and want to come back to you. It could happen at any time so be prepared for her to come back when you least expect it.
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