Mike Gurr, Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy, spoke to Lon Woodbury, the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens on L.A. Talk Radio, about the topic of combating shame. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant, a prolific Amazon Kindle author, and the publisher of the industry-recognized Woodbury Reports. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984.
Mike Gurr
Sedona Sky Academy is an all girls school in Rim Rock, Arizona. Here Mike Gurr serves as its Clinical Director. Prior to becoming a counselor after getting a master's degree in Professional Counseling from Argosy University, he was a coach in high schools and colleges because had obtained a masters degree from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science.
How Combating Shame Restores Psychological Well-being
It is important that adolescents begin to address the problems of low self-esteem by combating shame, Mike believes.
The belief-system behind shame is that "people would not like me if they really knew me." This belief is expressed through negative self-talk. Adolescents say to themselves: "Who do you think you are?" and "I am not good enough."
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Since America, as a whole, is a society that emphasizes the value of personal achievement, it uses shame as a tool to make young people take responsibility for their lives. However, the result is just the opposite. Shame creates either a sense of unwarranted entitlement or a sense of apathy and blame.
Letting go of wondering what other people think about us can lead to happiness, loving-kindness, and creative living. The way to do this would be to develop shame resilience. Someone who had developed shame resilience would notice shame-producing people and circumstances, and learn simple skills like speaking through their sense of shame, as well as simply showing up, being present, and staying completely authentic. In essence, combating shame was all about noticing shame triggers and refusing to drawn into feelings of shame.
In closing, Mike shared the process he uses for combating shame at Sedona Sky Academy and gave real-life examples of how he empowered students to quit numbing out and allow themselves to become more vulnerable and authentic.
Mike Gurr
Sedona Sky Academy is an all girls school in Rim Rock, Arizona. Here Mike Gurr serves as its Clinical Director. Prior to becoming a counselor after getting a master's degree in Professional Counseling from Argosy University, he was a coach in high schools and colleges because had obtained a masters degree from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science.
How Combating Shame Restores Psychological Well-being
It is important that adolescents begin to address the problems of low self-esteem by combating shame, Mike believes.
The belief-system behind shame is that "people would not like me if they really knew me." This belief is expressed through negative self-talk. Adolescents say to themselves: "Who do you think you are?" and "I am not good enough."
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Since America, as a whole, is a society that emphasizes the value of personal achievement, it uses shame as a tool to make young people take responsibility for their lives. However, the result is just the opposite. Shame creates either a sense of unwarranted entitlement or a sense of apathy and blame.
Letting go of wondering what other people think about us can lead to happiness, loving-kindness, and creative living. The way to do this would be to develop shame resilience. Someone who had developed shame resilience would notice shame-producing people and circumstances, and learn simple skills like speaking through their sense of shame, as well as simply showing up, being present, and staying completely authentic. In essence, combating shame was all about noticing shame triggers and refusing to drawn into feelings of shame.
In closing, Mike shared the process he uses for combating shame at Sedona Sky Academy and gave real-life examples of how he empowered students to quit numbing out and allow themselves to become more vulnerable and authentic.
About the Author:
Find out more about Struggling Teens. Lon Woodbury has the recorded the entire interview on his L.A. Talk Radio show for people to listen to at any time.
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