Effective discipline with children is always based on respect for that child. Parents must always be in charge of children in a loving, firm, fair, non-harsh, and respectful way if the children are to respond positively to the discipline. If parents are in charge in a disrespectful way, their children could easily react with retaliatory, manipulative, or stubborn expressions of their anger or with tantrums.
By being in charge, I'm talking about being the person or persons who are in command, managing, directing, in authority, responsible, taking charge, and running the show.
For a discipline method to be effective, it has to be a respectful one. When I say effective, I mean the child's compliance is achieved, without any alienation of the child from the parent. One particularly effective discipline method is Counting. As you likely know, Counting is the numeric warning given to children that if they don't "listen up" soon enough and do what they are told by the time you reach the "magic" number, they will be given consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
Another effective discipline aspect is that the functional consequence given must nullify the benefits the child earns through the commission of the offense. In other words, the consequence must be tough enough for the child to think the misbehavior was not worth it, but not so tough that the child feels disrespected. For instance, groundings have to be long enough and short enough to produce something near the middle of (1) the child's perception that the benefit was certainly worth the consequence and (2) the child's detesting of your innards. My personal Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula come in handy whenever Grounding is a fitting consequence. (Consequences should also fit the offense.)
There is a wide variety of discipline techniques for parents to choose from. When deciding which ones to try, it's helpful to think of the most important criteria, (1) that the technique shows respect, and (2) that it appropriately and adequately, but not overly, consequences the child for the offending behavior.
By being in charge, I'm talking about being the person or persons who are in command, managing, directing, in authority, responsible, taking charge, and running the show.
For a discipline method to be effective, it has to be a respectful one. When I say effective, I mean the child's compliance is achieved, without any alienation of the child from the parent. One particularly effective discipline method is Counting. As you likely know, Counting is the numeric warning given to children that if they don't "listen up" soon enough and do what they are told by the time you reach the "magic" number, they will be given consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
Another effective discipline aspect is that the functional consequence given must nullify the benefits the child earns through the commission of the offense. In other words, the consequence must be tough enough for the child to think the misbehavior was not worth it, but not so tough that the child feels disrespected. For instance, groundings have to be long enough and short enough to produce something near the middle of (1) the child's perception that the benefit was certainly worth the consequence and (2) the child's detesting of your innards. My personal Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula come in handy whenever Grounding is a fitting consequence. (Consequences should also fit the offense.)
There is a wide variety of discipline techniques for parents to choose from. When deciding which ones to try, it's helpful to think of the most important criteria, (1) that the technique shows respect, and (2) that it appropriately and adequately, but not overly, consequences the child for the offending behavior.
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Want to find out more about effective discipline, then visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for effective discipline advice for your needs.
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