Raising Children: Getting From CALM To Wise

Publié par Unknown on vendredi 14 mars 2014

By Saleem Rana


Dr. Laura Kastner PhD, a clinical psychologist and author, spoke with Lon Woodbury on Parenting Choices for Struggling Teens, a radio talk show hosted on L.A. Talk Radio, about raising children, getting from CALM to wise. CALM is an acronym for constructive steps a parent can take to establish self-control when confronted by a distraught teen. During the interview, she explained a variety of parental approaches based on a parent's strong self-regulation that worked remarkably well.

Lon Woodbury is the founder of Struggling Teens and Woodbury Reports and he has assisted families and struggling adolescents since 1984. Besides his work as an Educational Specialist, he is a prolific author, and his Parent Empowerment book series is available on amazon.

About Dr. Laura Kastner

Dr. Laura Kastner has actually authored four incredible books on parenting: The Seven Year Stretch, The Launching Years, Getting to Calm, and Wise-Minded Parenting. She is a psychologist with her own private practice, and also a clinical instructor, with positions in a large number of departments, namely Psychology, Psychiatry and the Sociology departments at the University of Washington.

The Key to Parenting Kids, Going from CALM to wise

One of the most important parenting skills in dealing with children, and getting from CALM to wise, said Dr. Kastner is mastering self-control. This is necessary because when a teen confronts a parent, the situation usually escalates into a shouting and screaming match. Parents must learn to maintain their self-control so that they can model self-control for their teens.

CALM, she explained, is an acronym for the steps a parent can use to establish self-control when in conflict with their teen. C is for cool down and breathe deeply; A is for assessing your options; L is for listening with empathy; and M is mapping your plan.

In discussing why most teens act out, Dr. Kastner clarified that at around the age of 13, kids were in the middle of a transformative brain change, known as remodeling, that was biologically wired into them. Their minds resembled a 'website under construction' due to the fact that they were starting to prepare to reach adulthood and independent living. Just how teenagers responded to this biological modification relied on their temperament. Some were quiet, some looked for mischief and others fell to depths of depression. Moms and dads needed to quit leading with their feelings, and establish a tranquil, clear, and assertive parenting design.




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